Sunday, November 30, 2014

Why

Because it's there,
Why do we do the things we do?
or no one's ever done it,
( at least no one I know), that old
enduring drive for specialness I battle.

Because somebody said I couldn't
and it pissed me off enough that
I made sure I did, and even if I
never tell them, well. I feel that I have won.

Because it's something that  I've never tried
before, but always thought it looked like fun.
Because it stretches mental muscles
or just because it brings me joy.

Because it makes me lean on God.
and look beyond myself, beyond the
little world in which I live.

Because you asked me to.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Sea Foam

As Jasmine channel-surfed the radio,
a man's voice lingered long enough
to say "a sea-foam scented candle"
then excused himself in silence while
she searched for something in a country twang.
I couldn't help but wonder if he mentioned it
in passing, if a fire began inside a tenement
from someone's penchant for the smell of ocean air,
or if he wants to buy one for a gift to give a girl
he hasn't met but saw her, there, just once,
upon his elevator on his way to work,
sweetly elegant inside a sea-foam sweater.
Now she's all he thinks about, how
what he longs for in the night is walking
hand-in-hand with her beside the sea,
with lacy foam that kisses both their feet.




(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Friday, November 28, 2014

Just. Get. It. Done.

Project due:
paper, glue.
Tri-fold board
and type report.
How many have
I helped with?

There's always those
whose level shows
adults did all the labor,
but we keep it simple here.
It's not pretty, either,
but it's done on time,
a little early, even.

If it makes it
to the teacher,
marked at least a C,
well, praise the Lord.
I may have set the bar
too high when mine
were coming up
but now that I'm a Nana,
we go with reality.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014




Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanks Giving

Norman Rockwell's famous
Thanksgiving painting has
absolutely nothing in common with
our dinner today. Except the smiles.
I didn't know until today
but while the feast was cooking
I was told that Mama's recipe
for dressing smells a lot like pot.
Sage is what it was that filled
the air around the smell of turkey
baking, molecules of pumpkin pie
still hov'ring in the air from when
I baked them yesterday.
Sage dressing didn't get us high,
but high we were, a little giddy on
the lack of drama we have gotten
far too used to in the recent years.
We sat and ate and laughed and drank
the positive vibe in, and wouldn't
it be nice to think the trend will
keep occurring till it's this that
is the Norm from now on? Thanks
was lifted up for that alone, around
a table missing some we love but
pleased with every smiling face
enjoying every loaded plate.
If we gathered to acknowledge nothing
else, it is a big one, huge, a kind
of miracle we couldn't even dream
of several months ago.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014



Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Good Reason to Cry

Image found at:
http://hairasidentity.com/
She couldn't get the spelling done,
and there'll be hell to pay when she gets home.
She tried; the letters started dancing on the whiteboard
and distracted her, and then the time was gone.
She's crying, halfway out the door as if
just standing there will make the punishment in store
diminish into vapor, disappear as she has prayed
so often that he would. The bell will ring and she
will have to leave, the stupid teacher
thinking she's just misbehaving yet again,
the bullies teasing, hissing "baby" as they pass her
in their hurry to board buses that will take them to their
happy homes where daddies tuck their children in at night
and mommies still cook dinner. When the man gets home
and looks inside her bookbag, sees the note, he'll hurt
her like he always does when she is bad, and she'll be sore
down there again, and Momma will not care. She needs
the man too much, says he gives her things she has to have,
the medicine so she won't get the shakes that no one's
s'posed to know about at school. Whiner, she will say,
go to your room, is this the thanks I get for finding you
a better place to stay? She hopes that Momma doesn't know
what he will do when she has passed out later. Stupid letters
on the board. If they would just stay still, she'd write them
down on time. She wouldn't cry. No one would call her
baby, stupid teachers telling her to just calm down, already,
you're in second grade, you shouldn't get upset like this.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014


I subbed the other day and saw a little girl sobbing, right before dismissal. Another student volunteered that the girl hadn't gotten her work done. It seemed an overreaction, but we don't know what consequences she faced. I hope it wasn't what I wrote about here. But it happens.


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Mad Monkey Love Rhyme

I'd never love a lazy man,
but there is something 'bout a crazy man
that's mostly grand,
iff'n he is crazy about me.
I'd never love a xenophobe,
or homophobe or chauvinist,
and I don't kiss the lips of one who lies...
unless he lies with me upon
a bed of laughter,
stroking all my curviness well after
we have done the deed:
Mad monkey love's been made,
he's gotten laid,
and is so happy
that I'm here.
A cheer, a hallelujah, yay,
a wow,
please cuddle up with me, love,
whisper me to sleep now,
whisper...
me...
'night.







(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014


Monday, November 24, 2014

Broken

They say that bones once broken
mend yet stronger, so perhaps the cup
I glued today will be like that.
I'd rather that it hadn't broken, though, at all.
Broken friendships, broken people,
are not often mended quite as easily,
more fragile now, less trust inclined
their way. The strengthening is possible,
that's not to say it isn't. But it's much
more difficult to put the pieces back
together, and a scar is almost always left,
a visible reminder: Warning! There is
damage here. Be careful, please. Just treat
me gently and respect the weakness merely
to insure the breakage doesn't happen once again.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Sunday, November 23, 2014

The Princess Has a Birthday

Happy birthday
to my great-niece
Haylie, who took her crown
off for this photo.
I'd like to write a poem
for a Port St. Lucie princess
that would capture all the sparkle
in her smile. But words can't always
do the trick, cannot convey
the essence of her pint-sized elegance,
the mischief hidden underneath a frilly gown.
Big sister now as well as middle child by
reason of the bigness of her family's heart,
her role of princess is secure. Commander
of her daddy's heart, her mommy's extra
set of hands for helping, she will let you
know exactly what she's thinking, tiny
dynamo of sweetness all mixed up with
Martha Stewart's sense of order,
Disney and Duck Dynasty combined
just right into a Southern belle whose grin
and kiss at close of day can melt away
your toughest trials and cares.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014





Saturday, November 22, 2014

Chocolatentcy

If stressed spelled backwards is
desserts, may I have mine in chocolate?
Truffle trouble, I could take.
Concerns with caramel inside.
Depressing, dark and semi-sweet,
milk choc'late misery. Anxiety or angst
with almonds mixed into the nougat, please,
or fruity bits stirred in with frustrations,
frothy drinks of cocoa cares and all
life's complications would be easier.

Well, sweeter, anyway.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014


Friday, November 21, 2014

Radiance

http://deadened-glow.deviantart.com/
art/On-The-Cellular-Level-197647865
Not all that many hands had touched her,
fewer than her judges would have guessed,
and more, no doubt, than some assumed
(because they thought they knew her, inside out)
but if somehow the total of her skin had been, well,
dusted, not with fragrant powders après-bath but
of the application linked to criminal behavior,
there would be but one set powerf'ly persistent 
as the most intense and prevalent, strange latent evidence of something, someone, quite unique whose
touch had left an imprint on the surface, yes, but
also deeper still, the very cells and fibers of
her being filled with radiance and energy,
new synergy of yin and yang, of total masculinity
infusing all that was her womanhood, creating
something new, explosive, permanent, and good.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014



Thursday, November 20, 2014

50/50 Haiku

Sell 50/50
tickets then see the show for
free? Now that's a deal.




(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Not Quite a Sonnet About Soup

A sensible bowl of soup for supper,
not the kind somebody's Nonna made when
he was young, crammed full of Old World
sausages and calories, not something someone's
Bubbe stirred, her love more necessary than
the noodles in the boiling, frothy mix,
but from a can, the little heart shown on the label
indicating what a healthy choice was made,
some veg'tables and lots of broth, a tiny bit of meat.
The junk food chasers later must be overlooked,
ignored and disregarded: you have started
on the right road, just diverted for a moment
by that devil Little Debbie and the bag of low
fat chips that may eventually appear there on
your hips but do not be deterred,
discouraged or in any way downhearted!
You have started; they can't sway you from
your goal. Just think, if you had eaten fatty fare,
a thousand calories, those snacks then added too...
Dieting's a numbers game, nu?
The soup's a start and soon the snacks will vanish -
don't buy more, though, (it is merely a suggestion)
when next you travel to the store and face temptation.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Just For Me

Some things I did for me today:
I called a friend (not once, but twice)
and ate a candy bar. My duties?
Done (foul, stubborn list), before the sun
had ever planned horizon's kiss.
As darkness now emerges as a gentle, welcome
guest, diversions of delight also
increase: a glass of wine, some yoga -
just enough, though, lest I overdo. Despite
the fact the temperature is chilly out,
some twenty minutes spent within the hot tub's
steamy hug (a book in hand), a shower after,
now anticipating somewhat silly sitcom later
that will make me laugh. If I can not be
pleasant to myself, why should I think
that anyone outside my skin would
even want to do a better job?



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Monday, November 17, 2014

Simon Says

"Simon says to touch your head"
and all the children do so. 
"Simon says jump up and down," 
and robot-like compliance follows
till they look like they are getting tired.
"Simon says to stop."
"Four baby steps...Simon didn't say!"
and so they're out, the ones who moved.
She's not a baby, and she wasn't playing
children's games, but she has taken steps
to break free from the guilt and shame and
all the choices that resulted in tough
consequences we may never really hear
about. She took the steps, not giant ones 
we used to make as kids, the leaps across 
the field at recess, but take enough of even
little ones, and progress can be made. The steps
are difficult, response to crisis, not the sort
of thing one can be proud of, more a hopefulness,
a seed of something, anything that's positive.
Simon Says...keep going.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sunday Cat

Sunday stretches out before me like a cat
prepared to purr when someone strokes
its back in just the proper places. A belly
full of possibilities, the luxury of doing
nothing much, such choices I can make
without a time card or a deadline or
an expectation of quite any kind, for
feline freedom comes but once a week,



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Weary Haiku

A mind that feels as
tired as muscles after a
tough race = bad  haiku.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014




Friday, November 14, 2014

Birthday Blessing

Our daughter Becky loves
to skydive - happy birthday!
A year ago, the studies and the ladies
she was living with, the guy she loved
long-distance, all the pressures of the
program and the ex and money matters,
(but her son meant more than anything)
and now her birthday rolls around again,
degree in hand, another place with room
to sprawl a little with more privacy
then walk her son to school before she takes
a morning run. Distractions, somewhat
fewer and she wishes that she knew at least
a little that the future holds, but she has
seen goals met this year, and put aside
regrets for things that, long-term, don't
affect her all that much. "God never puts
us through more trouble than we can survive,"
she tells me wisely, quoting my words
back (she says) but she's had time to form
her own philosophies by now. A new year
stretches out, blank page of life to write
on: Neatly, daughter. Write the sweetness
of your heart in every paragraph, and
log each day, the better world you leave
behind for simply being there, on land
or (sometimes) in the sky.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Dual Citizen

She lives in two worlds,
dual citizen, a denizen of sorts
to both the one clime that requires
her time and energy the most,
but also somewhere out beyond the mist,
(like Scarlett running after Rhett
but in this story, she demands
a happy ending, and a kiss). Her
passport's got a hundred stamps
from entry to a sunshine-shrouded
land of peace and joy, with fields 
she frolics in without a care or curfew,
where she's someone celebrated, shouts
of praise not for a goddess but 
a queen. She has a keen imagination,
not as good as you might guess; she's
seen the place, could take you there,
perhaps. It's true, she may have been
asleep, it may have been a dream,
but that's alright. The sun is fin'ly down 
and soon, they'll let her close her eyes
and she'll be back, she hopes, tonight.
Out in the field, in the sunlight with crisp,
fresher air to breathe, a dancing partner 
just beside, who knows the steps so well.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

A Study in Contrasts

The contrast, unmistakable,
impossible to overlook:
Teens troubled by a tendency
to blurt things out whenever,
never mind the teacher's talking,
we don't want to be here anyway
and so we have a right to speak.
Discouraging to teachers with the
drive, desire, to make a difference.
The few who come to school prepared
to learn must earn their A's by working
extra hard to plow through all the noise
rude students generate. And then, a blissful
class of four-year-olds, preK's
who sit on brightly colored carpet squares,
crisscross. and listen quite intently
to the story as the teacher reads.
It's upside down. The babies newly
introduced to school so well-behaved,
while those depraved disciples who have
been in class each year becoming less respectful
with each new promotion. Soon
they'll be in high school, if they pass.
I warn them they'll be at the bottom of
the food chain, that the upperclassmen
will devour them if they act this way,
receiving sneers and rolling eyes, but
also thanks for trying. One note, a ray
of hope that some will give a second thought
to trying harder till they too believe the
lies - mean teachers, stupid work, it's
oh so cool to be the ones who always
get in trouble. The babies, though, they
lavish hugs and sweetness, unaware that
darkness wants to drain it by the time
that they are teens themselves. There's
something wrong about the system,
but it changes far too frequently to really fix.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Outer Space Rhyme

Outer space was meant to be
the moon and planets, galaxies.
In an embrace with stars above,
forget the science; let's make love.

(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014








A little explanation: last night I attended the writers' group that meets at Inner Truth Project in Port St. Lucie. I met these lovely folks the month before, and returned for a mini-workshop led by guest host Gene Hull. He gave some writing prompts and nuts-and-bolts instruction on patterns and rhythm which we found almost as delightful as Gene himself. He provided the first line to the poem posted, and  had us come up with the next three lines in an AABB rhyme scheme (the first two lines rhyme; the third and fourth lines rhyme). When I shared mine, the group leader, Wendy Dwyer, said I should post it as my day's poem today. It's a holiday, so I gave myself permission as well. Veterans Day deserves something more, and it will come, but not today.



Monday, November 10, 2014

Joan Today

Some students went to sleep, their heavy eyelids
proving more powerful than the weight of the story
on the screen. Some cut the fool with silly comments 
inappropriate to what was reenacted for their education.
True story, tragic ending of religion taken to extremes,
no one was likely to relate. It wouldn't happen now, so
why the hist'ry lesson anyway? If Joan of Arc appeared 
today, she'd be the darling of the media for days, perhaps,
or host a morning show, where comments on her shorter hair
style would be sprinkled in with guests questioning her sanity,
that visions are not real, perhaps she needs some medication
and then she would answer quietly, so wisely that they'd look
like haters, cut to commercial now, but none would burn her
at the stake, too civilized for that and much too secular.
She'd just grow old, and write a book, go on a speaking tour
and have a website for her fans who dress alike.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Hot Chocolate Day

Hot chocolate day, the rain a steady
invitation to heat up the milk and make
it right, with sugar and vanilla. A mix
would do, but not come close to that
first steamy taste of cocoa in a cup,
so sweet and rich, when winter starts to hint
its plan to visit even here.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Highway Haiku

Boring isn't bad
when it's a highway heading
to a place of rest,




(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014



Friday, November 7, 2014

Not Selfish at All

Her heart was breaking for a woman
that she didn't even know, a woman trying
hard, so hard, to do the right thing every day
to help a child who made it easy, so, so easy
to regard as being trouble. And she wanted to
encourage her, but what she said might well
sound strange to outside ears. She didn't
give advice on how to raise the child in higher
ways or throw some psychobabble band-aids
out she'd heard from Dr. Phil, suggest
professionals more learned than them both
might have a better answer, or accuse her of
a little slacking off in one department or the
other. She didn't tell her own sad story, try to
one-up someone who was clearly struggling
just to keep her head atop the flooding waters
of responsibility. Instead, she leaned in close
to whisper as she touched her softly on the hand,
"Take care of you," she said. "I mean it. It's
important." (And of course, it's also true.)


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Bipolar Poetry

Polar bears and polar climes,
sunglasses that are polarized
like politics and magnets (not
that these are much alike).
Bipolars, I am sad to note,
are seldom half the trouble, as with
bifurcations, fully twice the turmoil
when they're off their medication.
Manic ups, depressive downs, it's
chemical. Not personal. Mel Gibson
has it, as did Hitler, Kurt Cobain,
and Florence Nightengale, also
Carrie Fisher and Ms. Marilyn Monroe.
Britney Spears (which may explain a lot)
and Frank Sinatra (which may not).
Not something you can toy with, though.
The opposites pull strongly inside,
very simply put, perhaps it's like a
constant argument inside to see which
part of you will win, which one can
come outside and play. We say that
opposites attract but not when they're
a package deal, both personalities
within a single soul. With two,
however, sometimes, every rarely,
two who are alike can find each other,
so well-suited that they comment
on the fact quite frequently. (Where
did that come from? you may ask.
We're focusing on polar. Try to stay on task.)


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

I am NOT implying that bipolar disorder isn't very serious, because it is. I learned a little more about it today  - we used to call it manic depression. Handled properly and professionally, bipolar disorder doesn't ruin a person's life, or the lives of those around him or her. Some people hesitate to get help because of the stigma, which is ridiculous! A chemical imbalance needs to be treated chemically, just as someone who is near-sighted  needs contacts or glasses.


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Her Voice was Not the One That Called

Her voice was not the one that called them,
not the whisper of seduction in their ears
nor lies of love and adoration or the mention
of dire consequences should they feel the need
to tell. Her eyes did not compel them to draw near;
hers looked the other way, found noble things
to do and holy prayers to say, the gospel in reverse:
back then, when blindness, deafness, dumbness
ruled the day.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

This is for all of you who were hurt by one person, while another did nothing to stop it. It's okay to acknowledge that both let you down. It's essential to YOU that you forgive both, too. A process.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Friends & Family Night Haiku

November 6-23 at
the Pineapple Playhouse!
Friends and fam'ly night.
Another show begins but
I can't watch it now.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014


Booyah. Caught up now. Back on track with a poem per day after my weekend off the grid :)

Opportunity Knocks

It's such a feather in the cap,
a shoulder pat, a compliment
one could not, would not
think might come about.
But is it right? Or would I bite
off more than I can chew?
Appealing to the appetite,
of course, a dream if only
true in measure, temporary
but so tempting. Can I pull
it off? Go ahead, my friend,
scoff at my fears and
insecurities, but they are real,
the feelings valid, needing some
analysis before a final yes is
said, or no (instead). Should
I open wide that door? Or...


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Monday, November 3, 2014

Camping Haiku

Photo taken before it got windy, obviously.
Gale force winds, glass breaks
nearby, outside my snug tent.
I will check. Later.



(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014


A to Z

He changed location,
damaged his vocation,
all because he thought
that it was right,
that it would make her happy.

Another man refused to quit,
accepting ridicule, demotion
so that he could still provide, 
because he thought, as had
the other, it was right.

Both men, though going at
it differently, were noble,
don't you think? To sacrifice
themselves for others, even
if it might have turned out
better had they not, there's no way
one could speculate.

The heart, the great eternal why,
is always more important
than the what or where.
The who - yes. That's important, too,
and as they each look back he
sees that she is not the sort
to be appeased or pleased,
not ever. And the other's family,
now grown and caring for their own,
are grateful that he loved them.
Also wistful that perhaps he missed
great opportunities, now and
forever gone.

And both these men perhaps were
unaware that something far beyond
them was at work to move and prod,
suggest and give a nod in one direction
or the other, for purposes known
only to (you must have seen this coming)
Father God. What an idea,
that he would use a nagging wife,
or difficulties throughout life to take
us from point A to B and on to C so
that some paths would intersect,
and others take us far away from where
we thought that we'd end up,
and now see that, despite the setbacks
and the pain along the way, the point
we are at now is best of all, the other
points upon the map, some nice, some
not, a necessary process on the way
to D and E and maybe all the way to Z.


(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Back on the Grid

Back on the grid with all that that includes,
hot water, lights, a pile of mail that screams
to be gone through, unpacking will just have
to wait until tomorrow. So, did you miss me?
Huh? Did you? I am two days tardy with my poetry
and did that matter even just a little tiny bit (a phrase
that only Southerners employ)? While I took a chance
and danced off down the road to check my sanity
(and found it as I watched the sun dip slowly down below
the Gulf) you carried on quite nicely...working, playing,
all those shows on the TV, and church this morning
(if you thought to set your clocks back).  So, did you?
Miss me? It will take a little time to catch up on
the laundry and the literary leanings I've ignored for
three whole days, but call it research. New people
to describe, and funny plants, and how I almost lost
my cheer when I discovered that I'd left the ketchup
back across the coast. A person can't enjoy a hot dog,
even charcoal broiled upon an open fire, without
a dollop of that condiment, but neighbors there across
the way came to my rescue. That would not have
happened, had I stayed here on the grid.




(c) Ellen Gillette, 2014